Spirituality & Healing

March 19, 2025 | by Lee Ann Calabrese

_{Last night, while my little self slept unknowingly, I transcended space & time to plant seeds of awareness that, when placed under the right, challenging conditions, would sprout & come to fruition as an ever unfolding of her enlightenment.}

My sweet, little Lee Ann,

There is much you will not understand but I know you will feel its essence deep within the fabric of your heart, for what can be said in words that would be any more powerful than the loving intention of this message and the way you feel while receiving it? Isn’t that the magic after all? For, it is 1979 and ripples of this conversation will be left with you in a place you will never lose it ~ deep within your heart.

I come to you in what appears to be a dream in order to plant seeds of deep wisdom & understanding, of which you will not remember for some time. When you do recall elements of its truth, you will want to share it with others. Remember, they won’t truly understand you until you understand yourself. Knowing thy self and understanding thy self will become your highest priorities; for the world will constantly inform you of who you are and who you should be, and it will never be enough. Over time, this blatant inconsistency of what you “know” in your heart and what you know in your mind, will become unbearable.

You will begin by sharing this wisdom with others, explaining that they are way more valuable than they’ve been told. You will sense a lifting in their energy field. They will see hope & possibility in your reflection of them and they will echo these same timeless truths back to you. But just like them, you will not fully embody its truth until you drop into your heart space and see for yourself, for this is the only place you will ever truly “know” anything. In fact, the shortest journey you will ever take is from your head to your heart and you will marvel at the paradox of how simple, yet impossible it seems. For the heart is untouched by the world, yet hidden behind layers of distorted beliefs, unprocessed feelings and patterns of fight, flight, fawn & freeze.

Although naturel, dropping into the heart space will feel foreign and vulnerable. You will share this resistance with most of the world. But alas, a time will come where it all becomes too much and no matter how dark it gets; this will be a great catalyst for personal transformation and will lead you back to your center… your truth… to a place that feels foreign but oddly familiar. Never underestimate the power of truth within your heart, for the truth needs no defense; however, for lies to exist, they must be defended, reinforced, YELLED from rooftops, and shoved down throats. That is how you will know the difference. Truth whispers…. lies yell, truth unites… lies divide, truth clarifies… and lies blur.

Oh, my dear child… You are almost 6 years old now and information downloaded from those first 5 years will live rent free in your subconscious for decades to come. You will soon begin school and those distorted beliefs will be reinforced and re-experienced as patterns in your life. You will believe the pain is coming from outside of you, controlled by other people and external circumstances. These patterns will play out beyond the classroom & playground and take shape in all of your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. Your specific beliefs will be unique to you but the foundation of all distorted beliefs will be shared with humanity.

“What beliefs?”

Well, beliefs such as being separate from source (life itself), being insignificant, your feelings not mattering, needing to earn love, needing to look, feel and act a certain way in order to be worthy, etc. etc. etc.

“Sounds awful, but why would my mind hurt me like that?”

Because the mind was never meant to lead your life. It was meant to be a tool, a computer so to speak. The memory it holds are your lived experiences, storing images, videos, & narratives while operating from old, outdated programs installed during your formative years. Oh, and as a result of this conditioning, you will also seek information primarily from the left hemisphere of your brain – the logical, analytical side. Unfortunately, the right hemisphere, which is the intuitive, creative & emotional side, will be programmed as less important and very inconvenient & uncomfortable for others. Until these programs are updated, they will play out as dysfunction in every aspect of your life, especially within the mind, emotional body and physical body. As long as you are unaware of the outdated operating system within you, you will have no choice but to act from a place of misconception and dysfunction.

It is crucial you know this, because you will be living during a time where human suffering will play out on a mass scale. Whether individually within yourself or collectively as a whole, this multi-layered suffering will have its roots in a disconnect at the deepest level – separation from your core self… the you before the world got its hands on you… your very essence… your heart… and the love that you naturally are.

Anchoring into the heart space will allow you to see a much bigger picture than what your mind can perceive. When the heart leads your choices, the mind will rise to become its greatest ally. This is how you heal both individually within yourself and collectively as a whole. You don’t fight hate with more hate…. You don’t fight hate at all. You shine the light of awareness on it and anything resembling it, and you see it for what it is. For when you do this, you will see the futility in using your energy & life force towards more separation & division ~ the belief in ‘us’ versus ‘them’. Your heart will show you what truly matters, clarifying your intention and inspiring you to use your time & energy in impactful ways. Remember, whether it’s believed or not, a lie will always be a lie but the silent, unassuming truth will be the unshakable foundation of your entire existence.  

“Wait, what lies again? I’m pretty good at knowing when someone is lying.”

Yes, that will be the easy part. At some point, those external lies will become ridiculous… laughable even. The lies I speak to are the ones within you… the lies you continue to believe about yourself, especially the ones concerning your worth & power. You will recognize lies by the way they feel inside; for the body is intelligently designed and will send signals that something is wrong… signals that there is a deeper truth than any one perspective you may be holding. If you don’t see your body as a messenger of deep wisdom & truth, you will believe it’s wrong for its feelings & ailments. You will miss an opportunity for insight and be left no choice but to suppress, numb, and/or distract from the pain within.

“My negative beliefs feel so true. If they’re not really mine, where did they come from?”

You know, you believe your beliefs until you don’t. Even just considering such questions as “Where did my beliefs come from? Are they even my own? If I lived in a different century or in another culture, would my beliefs be the same? Challenging belief structures can be uncomfortable because so many of them are attached to your identity and sense of self. These beliefs you carry from an early age will influence your choices and shape your entire life. When the pain of being disconnected from your core self outweighs the pain of questioning your belief structures, you will be called to awaken. For you are part of an intergenerational, collective conditioning that has been operating way before you were born. When these subconscious programs are acknowledged & understood, the truth will rise to meet you. You will know what isn’t your truth by how painful & weak it feels in your body; whereas, the truth will always resonate and you will feel deeply connected to your heart. It is more of a ‘remembering’ versus a learning. Don’t forget, your body is your ally and it will always remain true to you. If it’s hurting, it is reflecting a wound that needs your attention. It’s as simple and difficult as that!

Remember, you are hard-wired for connection and as a child, your very survival depends on maintaining that connection, so establishing emotional safety in your relationships and ‘playing along’ will be paramount. Sadly, some will forget they are playing along and will believe the distorted truths as their own. Most will pass them on to others either directly or indirectly and if you question them, they will often become emotionally triggered. Never forget, your body is designed to keep you safe, so if your nervous system has no space for this line of questioning, it will quickly overwhelm and be followed by projection or avoidance.

“I feel scared to look inside myself. What if I find out I’m as awful as my mind tells me I am?”

You are programmed to be ashamed of yourself & have self doubt. When you experience yourself as shameful & inadequate, you will reject any part of you that reminds you of that. This is the birthplace of self-betrayal & self-abandonment which includes anything from avoidance, projection, judgment, co-dependency, and so on and so forth. There is much shame surrounding unwelcome thoughts & feelings but when you begin to see it as a human experience shared among many, it becomes less personal. Your nervous system will need support as you delve deeper into self understanding, so learning to hold space for your painful emotions while practicing self-regulation strategies is a great place to start. Committing to intentional kindness towards self, whether in words or deeds, will go a long way towards maintaining an environment for inner healing. Your body will respond to your self kindness even if your mind isn’t on board.

Once you begin cultivating an internal & external healing environment and recommitting to it no matter how many times you get off track, you begin to restore that sacred trust in yourself. Your body will then expand in its capacity to hold a wider range of emotions and you will become less concerned with the details of any story and more focused on how your body and heart space feel in response. Even the smallest expansion internally propels an abundance of signs & synchronicities that rush in to support & guide you.

“I’m afraid when I let my feelings out, they’ll never stop and it’ll be too much for me to handle.”

Whenever feelings come up and you’re unsure how to process them, practice body awareness by being an observer of your breath and noticing the rise & fall of your chest & belly. Place attention on your sensory perceptions in that moment – what you see, hear, feel, smell, & taste. Notice all that is holding & supporting you there. Speak or write out your worries to yourself or a safe person then ask your heart for guidance. Get curious about your body’s yes’s & no’s and how they’re communicated with you. Make an intention to deepen your inhale while lengthening your exhale. Notice your mind becoming uncomfortable because you’re no longer following every bread crumb it drops. It will keep attempting to pull you into the past or future, because your mind will not know what else to do. Make patience a daily practice. This is a new way of responding to difficult feelings and just like you, your mind will need time to adapt and see that you are the better for it.

Notice that when you no longer drain your energy in overthinking, you will have space to tend to your discomfort. Feel how your body responds when you say… “I am here now… I’m not going anywhere… Your feelings matter… All parts of you are welcome, I am so proud of you… Leaning into these feelings is not for the faint of heart, yet here you are doing just that… You are strong & beautiful… You’re waking up to your divinity… your sovereignty… your love… your magic.”  

I-n-h-a-l-e… E-x-h-a-l-e… notice your heart beating… F-E-E-L your heart beating… observe the rise & fall of your chest…. Notice the mind still agitated as it tries to get your attention on every little negative detail, not because it’s true but because that is how it’s been conditioned to keep you safe. Feel your feet upon the earth…. Connect with the timeless wisdom of nature and learn from the trees & animals. They are pointers towards another way of being in this world.

Notice the mind feeling heavy… defeated… Place your hands gently on the sides of your head and thank your mind for taking the lead when the heart had not yet received your permission. Forgive your mind for doing a poor job when it had no capacity to do the job in the first place. Thank every part of your body for supporting you, independent of any past ill treatment it received, from others & especially yourself. Forgive your past… Vow to heal.

Be still… s -l-o-w down…. Breathe… Notice the mind becoming calmer… Notice the heart still beating… still waiting for permission… Notice the mind surrendering… Thank it once more.

It is time. Can you hear it? It’s but a whisper, yet its call is vaguely familiar. It is time to come home to the heart now. It’s been waiting your whole life for this.

When you reside in the heart, you have space for your fullness of being… your full expression… for you are then connected to your light and the magic within you. This unconditional love can hold you… all of you.  Darkness can only exist absent of the light, so anchor to your heart space…. Anchor to your light…. Anchor to your truth…. Anchor to you!

I love you sweet angel!

Lee Ann xo

Kindergarten Graduation 1979